KIDS AND YOUR FAMILY DOG

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Every year in the United States, an estimated 800,000 Americans seek medical care for dog bites. Over half of these injuries are to children between five and nine years old. The outcome for those children who are bitten could be a lifetime of anxiety around animals—or permanent disfigurement. The outcome for the dog that bites a child is often death by euthanasia, chosen by the owners or mandated by the law.

The saddest phone call I ever received in many years of dog training and dog-owner counseling was from a mother whose four-year-old son had just had his lower lip bitten off by the family’s four-month-old beagle puppy. She had been told at the hospital that her son would have to undergo repeated surgeries as he grew up and that he would, at best, never have a “normal” lower lip. The doctors would do what they could to restore function, but even the best plastic surgery would not hide the damage completely. The mother called to ask me: should she have the puppy euthanized?

Can you imagine how a parent would feel at that point?

My goal for you is that you will never know that feeling.

The responsibility for your child’s safety around dogs is yours.

The most important part of that responsibility is supervision, especially around very young children, from toddlers on up. Last week, we talked about the “mobile toddler” and how he can innocently put himself in danger with dogs he doesn’t know.

That toddler and his older siblings can also be in danger—constant, daily danger—from a dog that is your own family pet. Neither the dog nor the child will intend any harm. Both will behave instinctively. One will have very sharp teeth.

What is the best way to supervise your kids with your dog?

Be there.

Dogs and small children should never be left alone together.

Does that sound too demanding?

Let’s rephrase, then. Small children should never be left alone.

Add a dog to the scenario—it doesn’t change. Dog or not, responsible parenting means never leaving your young child alone or unsupervised. If the dog is also young or new to your home, never leave the dog unsupervised, either.

That responsibility is yours. You cannot pass it off to an older child in the family or to a young babysitter. How would you feel if your dog hurt your toddler when your older child was the only supervision? How would your older child feel?

Luckily, it’s easy to deal with a dog when you aren’t able to supervise him. You can crate him. Dog kennels are a vital necessity in every home with canines, and dog kennels can be life-savers for anyone with dogs and children in the same household. You can put your toddler in his crib with a baby monitor. You can put your puppy or dog in an appropriate dog crate.

I cannot overstate the importance of safe confinement for any dog who lives with humans. I cannot imagine having a dog in the same household with children without using a dog crate. First and foremost, from the dog’s point of view, the crate becomes a safe place when the dog is tired, not feeling well, or just in need of time away from all the stresses of living with humans. The crate is his retreat, his quiet spot, a place he can go and rest unbothered. A crate is like a dog’s own room.

We all want our children to behave well with dogs.

We all want our dogs to behave well with children.

Good, safe behavior—by either species—is not necessarily instinctive.

Good, safe behavior—by both species—must be carefully taught.

And we must keep in mind that dogs and children are not the same animals! Humans in charge of dogs must learn to recognize dog communication.

  • Avoidance behavior: the dog moves away from someone or something.

Moving away is your dog saying, “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be close. I’m not sure it’s safe. I’m sure it’s not safe! I am out of here.”

Please don’t ever attempt to force your dog to stay near someone or something he moves away from. He’s telling you how he feels—he’s at least unsure, at most very frightened. When your dog tells you how he feels, listen!

Forcing a dog to “stay put” in a situation that’s scaring him is just not smart. You must do your very best to figure out why the dog is exhibiting avoidance behavior in that specific situation before you attempt to change his mind about how he currently feels.

Chasing a dog that is moving away from you is not usually effective, either in catching the dog or in teaching the dog there’s no reason to move away from you.

Allowing children to chase after dogs even when the dog is exhibiting avoidance behavior is like saying to the dog, “Too bad, buddy, we don’t really care how you feel—tough luck.”

Instead, teach the children that, when the dog moves away, leave him alone.

When you fail to respect your dog’s wish not to be approached, you will likely encounter the next step up in dog communication.

  • Vocalization—the dog will growl.

Growling at a human is a dog’s way of saying, “Enough! I tried to leave. I did all I could to avoid the situation. Now I’m frightened and unhappy. I can’t help myself—I might bite. Go away!

Instead, teach children that, when a dog growls at you, you leave him alone.

Dogs should never be reprimanded or punished for growling at humans. Consider it the dog’s “early warning system,” and remember that pushing a dog past growling can result in a bite.

Figure out why the dog growled. Solve that problem, and the growling stops.

  • Biting—push a dog past growling, and the only defense he has left is his teeth.

Dogs that have been taught bite inhibition from puppyhood—first by their mother dog, next by their breeder, then by the family that adopts them with the help of their puppy-class instructor—those dogs are most unlikely to bite down hard on human skin. They have learned that biting down on human skin is not rewarding and that inhibiting their bite is very rewarding. They will likely, at worst, nip.

Nips leave bruises, where the teeth have hit the skin.

Bites leave holes, where the teeth have sunk into the skin.

Bruises can provide the information that something is wrong with interactions between your children and your dog. Bruises are a strong warning. Bites are what bruises are warning against.

Once your dog has bitten hard enough to break the skin, that event becomes a reportable offense that goes on the dog’s “permanent record.” Local laws vary but, in many places, more than one bite can result in a legal decision requiring the owner to provide extra insurance and expensive containment for the dog . . . or mandatory euthanasia. Once your dog has bitten, the situation has become very serious.

Once your dog bites a child, it’s very likely the dog will not live.

Imagine that mother I mentioned earlier, whose child was disfigured by a dog.

Imagine that she knows very well that she cannot blame the dog. In this case, it was her own inattention that caused the incident. She honestly hadn’t thought there was any way that little puppy could do damage to her child. It truly had not occurred to her. She now has a son who’ll require surgeries throughout the rest of his childhood just to make sure his mouth works the way it should. The guilt is enormous. She called me wanting to know if she should euthanize the dog.

I told her that I’m a dog trainer, not a psychiatrist or psychologist or mental health professional, so I was certainly not equipped to comment on the human part of the equation involving her family and her dog. I did suggest that she consider appropriate counseling, for both herself and her child, immediately.

She reported no other untoward behavior from the puppy—again, a four-month-old beagle. This accident (yes, it was an accident) had happened out of the blue. She wanted to know if the puppy was aggressive. Without meeting the puppy in person, I could go only on her observations, but from everything she told me, the puppy was an absolutely normal puppy in every single way.

The puppy was probably not aggressive.

The puppy was a puppy.

The puppy simply didn’t know any better yet.

What happened could have compromised any chance that puppy could continue to live in that household, for obvious reasons. They might decide to rehome him or return him to the breeder. But what happened, in my opinion, should not have resulted in the euthanasia of the puppy. It was not his fault.

 

NEXT WEEK: Teach Your Kids To Speak Dog