Psychologists warn that children are more aware of disturbing news, like the Moscow murders case, than we may realize, even as a parent’s instinct is to protect children, and not to expose them to details.
Eastern Washington University Psychology Professor, Dr. Sarah Johansson warns that children hear details at school, or in the background if the news is on, even if we’re not aware they are listening.
“They have a lot of pieces of information, and if we don’t fill in those gaps with the truth, and support them in processing emotions around some of that, they’re going to fill it in themselves with potential misinformation, potential catastrophizing. So, our avoiding of these topics does not mean that our children are not exposed to them and not feeling things. We can’t protect our kids from big feelings, as much as we would like to, but what we can do, is we can model good processing of those big feelings.” said Johansson.
Since children often don’t know what to do with big feelings like this, experts warn they may show up in ways we might not expect: like headaches, stomachaches and trouble sleeping. You also can check for mood and behavior changes.
“We can also keep an eye out for what kids are doing in their play. Are they modeling violent scenes with action figures and things like that in those roles? Are they drawing things that are violent or alarming? However, that’s not necessarily bad. Kids actually act out and they process their emotions and their big feelings though play. So be curious about their play. If you see a drawing that looks violent, maybe ask them about it,” said Johansson.
Psychologists also warn that children may not feel safe in their own homes when they hear about a violent attacker breaking into a home.
Parents are advised to acknowledge that fear, speak about your own feelings, and assure children that family members and adults in the community are doing everything they possibly can to keep them safe.
“I would encourage everyone to be proactive, to initiate conversations. Ask them, “What have you heard about these events? What are you thinking? What questions do you have? Maybe sit with them and say I’m scared too, or I was scared but now I feel better because of x, y and z. Now I know these are the things in place to keep us safe.” It’s also okay to say, “I don’t know.” Just have open communication and validate kids’ questions and kids’ concerns,” said Johansson.
Children aren’t the only people affected by disturbing news stories. Experts advise adults to notice if they are losing sleep themselves, or noticing changes in their moods and anxiety. They urge you to have a support system like friends or church groups to talk about feelings. Limiting the times you are taking in the news and media can also help.
